The Price of a walk

Another fine and Sunny Sunday in Lancashire had me anth wife out in the car and heading for a favored beauty spot for a short walk (couldnt do a long un as mi back wer giving me jip ) Most of the walks me anth missus like doing are around the local ressas like the one shown on last weeks thread as they usually lead to other loverly countryside walks .
Now you could have knocked me down wi a feather tut bottom of owr stairs when we got there ( its at a place called DUNNOCKSHAW Nr Burnley by the way ) as sin owr last visit the powers that be have put a car park ticket machine on said car park and as it takes a couple of hours to walk around it costs 3 quid fert pleasure of some good clean air .
Now I don't mind paying my way in life ---BUT do I and countless others not pay for the upkeep of said ressas and supply of gods own water though our WATER RATES .Give us a break owd lad---There again I will in future just park on the roadside as thats FREE COCKER --There again they might put turnstiles up next a the entrances to these walks --Wouldn't purrit passed um .

Its Grim up north --Is it cocker

It always amazes me as them who live south of that Watford Gap place think the north and more particularly Lancashire is still all Smokey Mills ,Flat caps and ferret racing etc etc .By heck that lot need teaching sommert .I have traveled all over the place in my life time but am forever amazed at the BEAUTY of the countryside in our fine owd county .Last Sunday me anth wife we stunned again when we went on a walk around ENTWISTLE RESSA nr DARWEN that wer recommended by a mate of hers .
Now all the photos I took that day are on mi other website LANCASHIRE RE-UNITED but have a butchers at this one you southern softies an tell me now its GRIM UP NORTH

Where ut local lads theses days

I wer at the footy museum in Preston the other day maveling at the collections of old trohpys shrirts etc and wondering where it all seems be going wrong in todays football world .LANCASHIRE gave the world the beautiful game which is now played by well payed premadonnas who sream at the breekin of a fingernail gawd remember BURT TROUTMAN --played fer city wi a broken neck .
Teams thoughout Lancashire are full of foreign lads and I dont just mean from overseas .There wer a time when footballers where just like me and thee many will remember how as TOM FINNEY a Preston legend would get the bus to play at home games at deepdale --ey teams had LOCAL lads in em lads as could be associated wi .
There is a thing these days about ACCY STANLEY not gerrin the crowds to follow um at home since they gained there place back inth football league 44 years after the original team went bust bust . Two point could be made here .One is that in 44 YEARS folks round about ACCY have either grown up swearin there alliegence to either ROVERS or the Dingles upth rod from BURNLEY .Now point 2 is ACCRINGTON is a small town which for years had the mick taken out of it bi SCOUCERS with that dammed milk add ---ACCRINGTON STANLEY --WHO ARE THEY ---So why do we have a SCOUSE MANAGER and more SCOUCERS than a Liverpool dole queue playin fert club and TOWN ---Accy like every other SMALLER club in LANCASHIRE should be built on teams of LOCAL LADS who we can have a bit in comom wi just like TOM FINNEY and PRESTON someone who we could take pride in

Bugger off an let me sleep

 I am one of the nocturnal breed of night workers whos world is back to front a world where my night is your day where my dinner is your breakfast where you have a  breakfast bowlI have  my can of beer .Now I tend to go to bed of a morning then gerrup and couple of hours later and being the gradley hubby I am tend to do the housework ,make teas fert wife fer when she comes home of an evening and genaraly  muck about onth  tinternet .

I then go back to bed around late  afternoon to catch up on some Zs .Why then is it hard fer folk to wonder why when I attach a note to the front door ---DO NOT KNOCK NIGHT WORKER SLEEPING --that when they do it I go BLOODY BALISTIC  as  they always DO KNOCK just as I start to  get to sleep --What is it some folks dont get about us lot as works neets -apart from pimps and burglars as it was once said to me 

Its the way we speek that makes it funny

Our Lancky dialect is a wonderful thing and the thing that makes comic talents like PETER KAY and latterly PHIL COOL Cannon and Ball etc stand out I was told a couple of gags a while back that can only be done inth lingo and here is one and you will see why
In the early hours of the morning a wife awakens and call to hubby ALBERT -------Albert quick get doctor ----What is it sess ALBERT -----Ave pains love you know pains down there ---so Albert phones the doctors ------DOCTOR come quick its wife hers gerrin pains -----What sort of pains the doctor asks---WOMANS pains down there doctor -Oh come quick ---Has she got coil in says the doctor -----Got coil in says ALBERT -------SHES NOT MAKEN ME  BLOODY BREAKFAST YET

You may be interested to know I have an online petition to 10 Downing Street for those who care about our LANCKY Speek and heritage to veiw and sign please click onth link
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/ourlingo/

Dunt Shopping get you vexed

As I usually do on a Monday to try and get be tiered for me afternoon kip before the first night shift of the week I walked into Accrington town center and to one place in particular where I get little bits and bobs for me works packin (Packed lunch to you posh types)

Now the bits I get are usually Crisps,bits of cakes etc which never come to over a couple of quid .So with goods in hand I set off for the check out .
Now why oh why does this keep happening to me .A gent was wanting to purchase a small toy for his lad BUT the damm thing wouldn't scan at the till .The checkout operator then belled for a supervisor ---so we waited & waited------ & WAITED my patience snapped so I moved to the next till where a gent was finishing having his goods put thought then as the bill came to £4 the guy gets a debit card out ---FOR FOUR QUID---Then the card machine takes for ever to authorize so they start campin --(Lancky speek for chatting----Yeah the wife thought it had summert to do wi a tent an all ) and campin and campin .Finally the till opens I get there and pay for my stuff wi CASH ------so much bloody quicker ----pass us a blood pressure tab --am going fer a lie down

Why do I bloody bother

Now I am not usually a moaning bugger BUT lately I seem to have joined the ranks of the VICTOR MELDREW ---I don't believe it club .Some time ago about 6 weeks infact we got a snotty letter fromth local council (HYNDBURN ) sayin as they are having problems eccsesing the back streets with there bloody big wagons unless more conciderate parking were applyed in our street they would be making us put our bins in the front street .
Point one why are all of us int street being tared with the same brush
Point 2 why send new bigger wagons down such narrow streets when you know darned well you have trouble gerrin the old uns down inth first place.

So much did this letter get me goat I went down to see the bloody council but these days they hide cowering or is it laughing at us behind a phone you use from a reception area --press 1 for complaints --press 2 for I am on me brew and couldn't care less Press 3 while we have a laugh at you , press 4 cos we re getting paid to sit on our butts and don't care what you want

Finally I got though to someone after using my nouse and some contacts I have and had a conversation over the phone about said matter then pointed out the parking in our area that is getting worse as more people park there 2-3 cars per family or big work vans which these Victorian narrow streets were not meant for and then state of our streets road surface which has been patched more times that a aging celebs plastic surgery .

Now with the hard winters frost,snow and ice that has got under it its gerring worse .
I was assured I think some one would get of his big fat arse and come and have a look .As I was promised the police would about illegal parking around the area .
As I said its now 6 weeks since I did all this and not ONE person has been anywhere near ---I DON'T BELIEVE IT -----or in todays world maybe I should

E wer a great baker wer owr Grandad

There seems to be an upsurge in online shopping in these busy days but as the picture shows theres nowt new years ago as many off you will remember Butchers Bakers ( of which me grandad wer one ) ,Candlestick makers etc used to send the lads out on bikes many of who must have been as fit as a butchers dog to get up and down some of the steeper streets of Lancashire .It seems like in some ways the old days can teach us a thing or two ---but in the owd days we where fitter and more thankful for our daily bread

A Messy Buisness

While walking down around the streets of Lancashire's towns I have noticed of late a messy problem seems to be coming back ---DOG MUCK
Some dog owners seem not to care about the little messes there pouches leave behind nor seem to care about others having to dodge the stuff .The sign above was pictured while I was out walking the other day and has been reworded ---it was more to the point last time I saw it. It doesn't take much to clean up after your pet put it in a bin that someone collects I know I worked for a firm that did it I had the content's of 43 bins in me van once -On a hot summers day too --Sorry if you are having sommert to eat.
It seems another example of folks who couldnt give a s---- about others these days

Buzzes are nowt like the owd days

I have a bit of an affinaty wi buzzes as mi dad wer a driver with the owd Barrow Corporation Transport Department and as a lad I used to get free travel on buzzes he wer driving --Now back to queens English.
Many of you will remember the old fleets in your towns with the old platformed double deckers and jumping on or off while they where moving .
Its now a long way removed from the old smoky buses of the past as on my travels around Lancashire I notice more and more new fleets of brand new buses(pictured TRANSDEV --Burnley & Pendle MAINLINE service to Barnoldswick ) .Many are air conditioned with CCTV and suspensions a few cars would be glad off .Where I live buses can be caught to anywhere in Lancashire and 2 people can travel to Manchester for £9.50 return .I often think about hopping on a bus but somehow the old memories of days gone by seem to stop me as somehow there isn't the romance and excitement of an old D/D and jumping on or off